We sat outside with the warm September sun on our faces, coffees in hand, silence on all baby monitors – perfectly carved out time to discuss our readings since the last time we met.
The topic, vulnerability in friendships.
The temptation to live a guarded life allures everybody…Receiving the life God has for you requires vulnerability. God wants you to build a life without walls – one in which HE is your protection – allowing you to live with arms wide open, where you can know and be fully known. –Margaret Feinberg, Wonderstruck
This scares me. And I KNOW I’m not alone.
So there we were, discussing how ironic it is that we ALL seem to crave deep friendship YET…we keep people at arm’s length to protect ourselves, therefore hindering depth of friendship. Once again we are our own worst enemies.
And what do we want to protect ourselves from? Here’s my short list…
Unrequited friendship, being judged, losing a friendship, being exposed, showing my dark side, admitting I may not be as perfectly wonderful as I appear (sigh)…
Intimate friendship is scary because while diving in can be one of the most beautiful and life-giving things we will ever enter into – it also opens us up to a world of potential heartbreak. Is the investment worth the risk?
Pass freely through the doorway of friendship…Share your burdens, and give others a hand…Know others from the inside our instead of merely the outside in. – Margaret Feinberg, Wonderstruck
A great challenge.
For me, friendship can be…
Beautifully dark, when a husband looks at his wife and sees his best friend, the half of his whole – even though he is the only human alive who knows all her ugliness. And he would choose her again.
Simple, fate puts you in the same kindergarten class and through the whirlwind of life you remain friends some 30 years later.
Bittersweet, when you finally get to really know and love someone and get into the friendship “sweet spot” when their greatest dreams come true and they move half way around the world.
Kindred, when your life is tied to someone else’s by an invisible thread that cannot be broken by time & space. Different continent, different province, different lives…none of it matters. Your hearts know & are known.
Ever evolving, sometimes friendships that were once centre stage begin playing a less flashy, but not at all less significant, supportive role.
Unexpected, sprouting up from a place you didn’t expect. True friendship in family can be rare – your lucky if you have it.
Healing, sometimes the exact right people come along at the exact right time…filling a space that was hurting from emptiness.
Friendship has saved me from darkness. And when I look back – it required vulnerability. And you know…it was worth it.